I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
