glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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