he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
