So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
