It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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