U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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