Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
