Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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