You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My breasts were aching with rage.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
