So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
