Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
