ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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