puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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