how can u be prego again
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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