Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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