i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It's just like the Real World with babies
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
