Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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