I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
