I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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