He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
