No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
