ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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