I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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