Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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