My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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