So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
