What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
