should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
