Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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