don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
