I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
