how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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