If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
