there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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