You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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