hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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