if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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