I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
