My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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