I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
