dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
