where am i from again
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
