seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
