come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
