She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
