I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Oh god it's open bar.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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