yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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