Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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