Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
