his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
